Speed Movie Review

I wanted to watch Speed since Todd in the Shadows featured it in his video on the Top 10 Buses of the 90's. (Spoiler alert: It's #2). A review of Speed (1994) dir. Jan de Bont.

I was surprised by how few people died. Only 3 people died that I can remember, and one of them was the terrorist. Is this really an action movie? I am impressed with how tense the situation can be without losing a few souls.

Is the terrorist stupid? Why did he quit his job at the bomb squad? If he wanted money, he should ask for a raise. And why was he in the elevator when he was trying to blow up the elevator? 

At the same time, the police are stupid too. They didn't bother checking to make sure he actually died when he blew up in the beginning? They didn't even see it happen. They just followed the honor system. What happened to Jeff Daniels? Is he still alive?

I didn't know Pop Quiz Hotshots was named after this movie. When Keanu said "Pop quiz, hot shot" in the movie, my first thought was that he was referencing the show Doug Walker did while Nostalgia Critic was on hiatus. So much for No Nostalgia Critic November, I guess.

The stunts that go down in this movie are crazy. Honestly, they lost some steam when Keanu tried going under with a creeper. All the work on the bus was awesome. I thought the video camera and how they got around it were really clever.

7/10. Best movie of the 90s without Sam Raimi's name on it, or at least until I see The Game.

Napoleon Dynamite Movie Review

Nora likes the movie. A review of Napoleon Dynamite (2004) dir. Jared Hess (who also did the Minecraft movie).

 

This movie is slow and empty. The setting is very life-like, mirroring what it feels like to live in small-town USA about as well as The Killers' Pressure Machine. There are not many people in the movie, and the same handful are all that appear. The school dance feels like it takes place in a 20x30 room, and vast shots of hills and countryside sparsely littered with ranch houses are common. 

Can't believe they got Haylie Duff in this thing. She's not an A-lister like Hilary Duff, but she's probably the strangest casting choice compared to all the Hess friends and obscure southpaws that make up the rest of the cast. 

 Uncle Rico reminded me of Matthew McConaughey the whole time. Napoleon's dance at the end is genuinely pretty good, but the movie's definition of skit is different from mine.

6/10 would vote for Pedro

Looney Tunes: The Day The Earth Blew Up REVIEW

I love Looney Tunes, so I dragged Travis along to the theater.

There were a lot of funny jokes. Also a lot of lame ones. I liked Farmer Jim's animation, and Daffy laying eggs. Also funny how Daffy gave Porky brain damage in the beginning. Wasn't big on the "pie" joke or the joke-like solution to their housing issue. The influencer scene was really bad and out of nowhere. A lot of the jokes felt half-baked.

The characters don't blend well together. Daffy is a weirdo. Porky is a weirdo. Making Porky the straight man doesn't work too well compared to, say, Bugs or even Speedy. At the same time, Daffy can't admit he's a weirdo. The reason Daffy works so well is because he thinks he's completely reasonable.

Eric Bauza did great as Daffy and (I think) the alien. His Porky sounds too similar to Daffy, which distracted me the entire movie.

4/10, earth didn't even blow up a single time.

Heretic Movie Review

 It was on HBO in the hotel. A review of Heretic (2024) dir. Scott Beck and Bryan Woods.

Greg Graphin'

Why does the psycho killer have to like "Creep" by Radiohead? That song already gets a bad enough rep as it is. It's a good song! 

I disagree with the idea that all religion is about control. Most of them hold us in slavery under control of the law. However, Christianity frees us from the control sin has over us. Christianity demands nothing

 I also don't think "the great prayer experiment" proves or disproves anything. You did a scientific experiment on God's providence and concluded nothing? It's almost like you shouldn't put YHWH to the test. Remember that God gives daily bread to all people, even to all evil people! It's not something you can test scientifically, because God is not a game. He is not a cosmic vending machine. God does not require our prayers; prayer is a response to faith, and he does answer them because he says he does.

 4/10, not surprised Hollywood thinks God is evil but not impressed either.