Saturday, December 19, 2015

Stupid Magazine Book Thing: Minecraft v. LEGO

So my brother goes to a different school and they had a book fair. At the book fair, he got this magazine book about video games. (This book doesnt even note that Club Penguin exists, even with its 10th Anniversary earlier this year because this thing is possibly the worst piece of literature I've ever read in print form.)
In the book, it says that if you can build something in LEGO, you can build it in Minecraft. What they forgot to tell you is that you can't build or create any of the following in Minecraft:
anything curvy or rounded
drywall
wallpaper
signs that are connected to doors
boiling water
board games
tables
chairs
sofas
desks
chairs
any exercise equipment
a ball of any type
snow tubes
skis
snow shoes
terracotta flower pots
most plants
drywall
beacon lamps
telescopes
binoculars
about 99.999% of any clothing items you may want to have at any point in time
trapdoors that arent extremely obvious
microphones
pianos
drums
guitars
custom paintings
anything soft and yellow that isnt butt ugly
life rings
speedboats that actually look like speedboats
umbrellas
beach chairs
sand castles
fountains
grills
tea
coffee
pizza
burgers
hot dogs
nachos
chocolate
drinkable water
lamps that actually look like lamps
cookie jars
bottles
cash registers
giant signs that people can actually read
speakers
dj tables
secret doors
arcade machines
tv
computer
smartphones
tablets
3ds's
any gaming console ever
clothes racks
spinny display thingys from cheesy tourist gift shops
different types of chests
cardboard boxes
minigames that dont require months of your time
manhole covers
sewer water
garbage
small things that could look like puffles if you were legally blind
shelves
fish tanks
patio furniture
table with a book on it
table with food on it
most food
moving rocks
lifeguard chairs
radios
first aid kits
any slab or stairs of any color other than brown, white, or red
machines that i can build within 72 hours nonstop
cars
most forms of transportation
npc's that dont look exactly the same as all the other npc's in the entire game (every cow looks the same, every pig looks the same, every sheep looks the same, every creeper looks the same, every villager looks the same. it gets annoying)


Another thing you can do in LEGO that you can't do in Minecraft is play with your friends.
Potentially, you could play Minecraft with your friend, but you'll either have to buy another computer and a new account, or you could buy a console with a game. Either way, it's gonna cost at least 50 bucks. In early 2014, I got something like 15 pounds of LEGO bricks for ten bucks. It's super cheap and I've built lots of stuff including a LEGO replica of my room, which I plan to do again with my new room that was given to me when I moved. If you want your friends to come over and play with LEGO bricks and build stuff, that's fine. If you want to play Minecraft with your friend, you'd better cough up your wallet and give it to a multimillion dollar company that the creator of the game doesn't like! (Microsoft) (I came to this conclusion by myself, I might be wrong.) Another thing: Somebody working in the game section of Microsoft is probably (not) reading this and thinking, "Hay, wii coud add dis stuffz and maek ppl hapy, or we coud add difrent types of rok intoo minceraft," and choosing the poor, terrible latter option.

Another thing I hate about Minecraft is how elaborate the servers are. The servers are so wonderful and awesome with like 98 bazillion commands but if you want to do at least 10% of that stuff, you're at a loss. Add more commands; It makes stuff a billion times easier. In LEGO, you can do whatever anyway, so it doesn't make a difference.

Side note, Minecraft had 4 major updates in 2012. Those were 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, and 1.4. In the year 2015, we have received no major updates. The last major update was on September 2nd, 2014. The game is fun (a small bit), but it gets very boring when there's nothing new ever. I stopped playing in April, and really only play when there isn't internet at that moment and I have nothing better to do.
LEGO releases tons of new bricks and sets every year. Why don't you?

So shut up, stupid book magazine thing. I don't have enough time or a low enough IQ to finish reading one section of this terrible stuff. Thanx 4 nothing

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