The Story of Everything

The story of everything is this: God created all things in the beginning. God is eternal and all-powerful. He created all things perfect, and he had a perfect plan for the world he had made. Yet humanity decided to disobey God’s plan and sin against him. When people went against God’s plan, his creation was no longer perfect. God cursed the world to be destroyed. Now all of creation suffers from the curse. Every person on earth gets sick and eventually dies. Some suffer from horrible disabilities and ailments. Things rust and no longer fulfill their function. Drought, pestilence, and famine destroy fields of crops. Mountains crumble. Oceans storm, wreck the land, and kill people. It’s a terrible state of affairs. Yet God is merciful. He decided not to destroy his creation. Instead, he promised that he will bring his kingdom to us and restore all creation to its former perfect glory.

He promised to do this through a man named Abram. Abram and his wife were unable to have children. But God chose them to be the forefathers of a people who would bless the entire world. All nations and all creation would be blessed through Abram’s family. God gave Abram a new name – Abraham – to mark him as the father of many nations. God promised Abraham’s descendants a land in Canaan from which all the world would be blessed.

Abraham’s son to whom the promise was given was named Isaac. Isaac had a son named Jacob. Jacob was also known as Israel. Israel had twelve sons, each of whom had his own family. The family of Israel became so large that they became a people, with each son’s family being a tribe.

The Israelites were slaves in Egypt. God called Moses to free Israel from slavery and lead them to the land in Canaan promised to Abraham. The Pharaoh of Egypt would not let the Israelites go free from slavery, so God sent plagues to afflict the Egyptians. After the terrible suffering the Egyptians faced, Pharaoh had to let the Israelites go free to Canaan.

While the Israelites were leaving, the Pharaoh changed his mind. He decided to re-enslave them. Pharaoh and his army began to chase after the Israelites, who had come to the Red Sea. The Israelites were trapped; they could not escape Pharaoh’s army. Then God split the Red Sea in half, with a walkway through the bottom of the sea. The Israelites walked through the dry sea bed to the other side. When Pharaoh’s army tried to go after them, God closed the sea and drowned all the Egyptians. God took care of Israel and freed them from Pharaoh’s hand.

In Canaan, Israel chose kings to rule over them. David was a great God-fearing king, and God promised to bless the world through David’s line. Other kings were not so good. They led the people astray from God’s plan. After a few hundred years of bad kings who led the people away from God, God allowed foreign nations to conquer Israel. The Assyrians and the Babylonians took over Israel and carried off the people into exile. But God had a plan to free them. God sent Cyrus of Persia to conquer Babylon and allow the people of Israel to return back home to Canaan.

 

Finally, in Israel’s homeland, God sent his son Jesus into the world to fulfill his promise to bless the entire world. He was the descendant of Abraham and David that would be carry out God’s promise. God’s perfect kingdom was actively being spread far and wide as Jesus turned away the curses of sin. He forgave sinners, healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, and enabled the lame. He fed the hungry, calmed the raging stormy sea, and even raised dead people back to life. Jesus told people that those who turn from their sin and believe in him would receive the kingdom of God and all that comes with it. He would give forgiveness, life, and salvation to those who believe and trust in him. Jesus is in charge of this world, and he was not shy about it.

There were many who did not want to believe him. The religious leaders saw Jesus performing miracles and did not trust him as God’s son who was to fulfill the promise. They called him a demon-possessed man and not God’s son. Everything Jesus did to fulfill God’s promise, bring God’s kingdom, and bless the world only made the religious leaders hate him more. They conspired against Jesus, tortured him, and put him to death on a cross. Because of the wicked arrogance of the religious leaders, the son of God was dead.

Yet God affirmed everything that Jesus had been saying. He rose Jesus from the dead to show everybody that, yes, Jesus is God’s true son. He really was bringing God’s kingdom. Jesus forgiving sins, healing the sick, calming the storm, and raising the dead was all part of God’s promise to bless the world through Jesus. Jesus ascended to the right hand of God his father to this day, but he promised to return on the final day to finish the job and bring the kingdom of God for good.

Jesus instituted means by which all people could become righteous and thus receive God’s coming kingdom. He gave his Holy Spirit to his followers and told them to tell all people the same message: Repent and believe that Jesus brings God’s kingdom! He told his followers to baptize people into God’s name. Anyone who is marked with Jesus’ name by baptism and trusts in God’s promises receives the forgiveness of sins and a place in God’s kingdom. They are brought into God’s family and are given the promise of eternal life.

On the final day, Jesus will return to condemn all sinners and restore all righteous people and broken things to eternal perfection. The new earth will be a perfect, unbroken version of this world, free from sin. There, we will see God face to face, and we will rejoice to know him so personally. 

 

 

Coyote vs Acme Movie Review

 I had been hyped for a while. A review of Coyote vs. Acme (2026) dir. Dave Green. Spoiler alert. Don't read if you don't want spoilers. 

The first great thing about this movie is that it has Looney Tunes in it! They are always funny every time. I will say right away that I liked Coyote far more than I liked The Day The Earth Blew Up (2025) when that came out last year. The Looney Tunes characters blended together a lot better.

What do I mean by that? Every character is designed to fit into this world in which cartoons and people share an ecosystem. Earth Blew Up felt as if there was no sense of grounding, so it was too wacky for the stakes to matter. The dynamics between the people and cartoons meant that what happens to the one happens to the other. Everybody matters in the story, even if cartoons are seen as expendable guinea pigs for product testing.

It was really nice to see the coyote make a friend at the end. I love him very much and I hope he and his friend can make good memories forever. I hope Coyote's friend texts him back.

That's about it. The movie was kinda funny but not massively funny. I prefer the characterization in The Looney Tunes Show, but they were pretty on point here too. Some of the effects were really neat, with how the cartoons affect the real world. It's a good movie. Once you've seen Coyote vs. Acme, you'll never stop wanting to beat Foghorn Leghorn to death with your bare hands.

6/10 I wish I lived in a motel 

Crazy Stupid Love Movie Review

Watched it with Gabriel and Scott. A review of Crazy Stupid Love (2011) dir. Glenn Ficarra and John Requa. Spoiler alert.

This story is crazy. I was invested the whole time. Crazy Stupid Love is in essence the debacle movie; every single character in the movie has relationship drama except for the Weavers' younger daughter. How the different dramas weave (hehe) in and out of each other is really shocking to watch. It's almost voyeuristic to be tuned into everyone's personal life to such a degree. I could have gone without the scene of Hannah at Jacob's house!

There are so many needle drops in this movie. I think I heard Wayne Coyne in there. Longtime readers know I like using pre-existing songs as the soundtrack, as long as it isn't too on the nose. I think the songs were well picked, but the diversity of songs made me feel as if the choices weren't so deliberate. Chimp brain.

Cal's arc was really compelling, once he has the debacle with his wife at the parent teacher conference and realizes his problem. The way he flips around on Jacob feels very natural. Gabriel noted that Steve Carell and Ryan Gosling have the best on-screen chemistry between 2 male actors ever, and I get it. In The Big Short, I couldn't see Steve Carell as anybody other than himself. In Crazy Stupid Love, I never doubted his performance for a moment. Cal Weaver is well-written and he never breaks.

There was a shot at the beginning where Cal Weaver looked like my dad and it was strange.

Since this movie is about relationship debacles, you would expect me to relate to one of the characters. Yet I don't think I do. It's because everybody in this movie is crazy and stupid. Hence the title. It's like a more mild, romantically inclined version of Always Sunny. Everybody is a terrible person, so it's funny to watch it all fall down. 

5/10.

 

Forrest Gump Movie Review

 Matt hails this as a classic, so I had to watch it. A review of Forrest Gump (1994) dir. Robert Zemeckis. 

Forrest Gump is about Forrest's relationship with Jenny. Jenny treats Forrest terribly. She leads him on and then leaves. Then she leads him on and leaves. The cycle repeats over and over again. Forrest should wise up. Every time he thinks Jenny is going to surely stay with him this time, he is proven wrong. It would be best to swallow his pride and move on. He should realize the cycle they are stuck in and break out of it. But from Forrest's perspective, he likes Jenny. So why would he give that up? Forrest doesn't realize that his life would be better in the long-term if he foregoes that short-term satisfaction of having Jenny for a little bit. Then I turn around and say all this about myself.

Forrest Gump is a very touching, personal movie. But it is also a very quotable and funny movie. Just doing the Forrest voice is entertaining, much less anything he says like "Somethin bit me!" or "Sorry I ruined your Black Panther party." All the kids in school would say "Run, Forrest, run!" But I think "Something bit me" is funnier. 

 What can be said about Forrest Gump that hasn't already been said? It's a great movie. 8/10.

Spider-Man Brand New Day Movie Review

 Matt wanted to see it, and I like Spider-Man movies sometimes. A review of Spider-Man: Brand New Day (2026) dir. Destin Daniel Cretton.

Do you see the Spider-Man colors in Fantano's outfit?

I haven't seen the last movie in ages, so maybe this is on me, but I felt lost regarding some of the plot beats here. Who is the lady in the hot tub, and who is Frank? Who are The Hand? I don't remember them from No Way Home. I wonder if it's because I haven't seen any of the MCU movies since No Way Home that I'm missing a ton of context? It probably is, and I think that's really dumb. Imagine if you were watching Star Wars and Indiana Jones came in and started talking about the crystal skull. What is he talking about, and what does it have to do with anything? They only do it to guilt trip me into watching the other movies, but I'm not gonna watch 40 other movies to understand some half-baked characters I don't care about.

I think the hot tub lady contributed very little and could have been cut entirely and very little retooling would be needed. I don't give a narp about her. Frank is so annoying, I got frustrated every time he was on screen. He is so one-dimensional. The movie keeps telling me that he's deep and traumatized by his dead family, but I could not be bothered to care when he's such a meathead and a dunce. Not that I should care, cuz it never matters or is explained. He's the real villain. I don't like his New York accent, or his jokes, or his love of guns. I don't like him at all. Frank is the real villain of the movie.

This movie is very blue. 

Peter's personal struggles and his struggles as Spider-Man tie together in an interesting way with the organic webs, but having them already exist in the previous movie really killed a lot of the excitement. And calling attention to it from the previous movie makes it worse. Ruins a lot of the mystery. That's why I don't like multiverse stories. Besides the fact that they are overdone, they cripple a lot of worldbuilding possibilities. Nothing about this world is permanent or consistent anymore, so nothing matters quite so much as it once did. As much as I enjoyed No Way Home, it is not something I have seen after its premiere because its world just doesn't interest me enough to watch again. 

 I like some things about this movie. I really like the house party scene, how the Tame Impala song fades in and out. It's the soundtrack, but it's also what's playing in the scene. I used the same trick to soundtrack Bernstein (2022) dir. AMG. The soundtrack song played when Bernstein is in Casey's is "Successful" by Ariana Grande, but I edited it to show that the same song is what plays in the store. It sounds like convenience store music, but the lyrics also match how Bernstein feels, having captured his victim. The same trick is used in the butter factory scene with "Little Black Angel" by Death in June. I initially thought using the Tame Impala song for a house party would be a little strange, but as the scene went on, it fit more.

I tolerated a lot of the needle drops for this movie. It can't get any worse than the songs they threw in Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014). I don't know how well they will age, but for now, they are fine. I didn't like that Philip Philips song in TASM2 the day it came out, so at least Brand New Day's needle drops pass the immediate sniff test. Also better than Super Mario Bros Movie. 

I always forget there's an X-Men character named Jean Grey, since I don't read or watch X-Men. I only thought of Jean Grae, the rapper. There are a lot of rappers named after Marvel characters, and Jean Grae is another one to add to the list. 

I think Jean Grey's character arc and Peter Parker's character arc line up in an interesting way, but I didn't understand how the two fit together until the end. Maybe I'm just dumb, and I should have seen it from the second she appeared. I think the main message they conclude with is really cute and I like it. The third act twist did not surprise me at all, but I thought it was well done. The Z max reveal, or whatever it was, was a good twist.

Peter's arc with MJ really hit me because I know how hard it is to love somebody I cannot be with. It's a universal experience, so I think a lot of people will relate to that part. Wanting to connect with somebody again after a long time, but being unable to for external reasons, really sucks and it is painful. Peter Parker has more self-control than I do. But the girl I like with is prettier than Zendaya, so it evens out.

Was really hoping Peter would grow extra arms like he did in the cartoon. 4/10