Saturday, September 23, 2023

Sunday, September 10, 2023

Barbie (2023) Movie Review

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West getting married in Barbie World

I had a Saturday off a while back, so me and some camp besties went to the mall.

A review of Barbie (2023) starring Margot Robbie and Alex Nelson.

At first this movie seems like it exists to promote the tired neolib talking points that Shoe0nHead and those types were late to the party debunking in 2016. Then a few days later I kicked my deficient chimp brain into gear and realized that merely saying "patriarchy" a ton doesn't automatically mean you want to install a matriarchy. It's actually quite the opposite. Barbie Land sucks at the beginning. The whole world is so shallow and one note. Then the Kens install a patriarchy and just about everyone is better off. Everyone who dislikes Ken's society is mean and manipulative. People tearing down Ken's patriarchy are literally the bad guys.

This movie misunderstands Platonic philosophy. Barbie Land is the world of forms; all Barbie particulars in the real world reflect the form that exists in Barbie Land. Which is why Ken's Mojo Dojo becomes a product in real life after he builds it in Barbie Land. It's how the toys exist in the first place. Each Barbie doll is based on the form in Barbie Land. Forms cannot be influenced by the particulars. Yet the movie flip flops on this.

Weird Barbie should not be affected by the condition of a particular doll in the real world. Because who is to say that one particular doll influences the state of its form? Why not the million other identical particulars? Even more, the shadows cannot influence the forms. But in this movie they do. Barbie gets depressed because the mom was drawing her depressed. The perception of a shadow of a particular cannot change the particular itself, much less its form. This is the inciting incident of the movie.

There was some crass humor which was kinda mid. Soundtrack was pretty good though. Lizzo, Dua Lipa, Charli XCX, and Matchbox Twenty was an important part of the story, and the Ken song, they all go hard. Ava Max still sucks, but you can't win em all.

Movie was a mixed bag. It mostly makes me want to watch the animated Barbie movies that Anna Hoier has wanted me to watch for the past 2 years.

4/10, should've gotten Sam Raimi to direct.

Saturday, September 9, 2023

American Psycho Movie Review


There's a train going by. This movie missed it.

A review of American Psycho starring Christian Bale.

This is supposed to be an American classic?

1/10. Would not recommend.

Friday, September 1, 2023

The Super Mario Bros. Movie Review

Christian Mario. Praise God.

Picked up the Mario movie in Lakeville back in June, finally watched it with Logan, Devon, and Ella.

A review of The Super Mario Bros Movie (2023) dir. by the TTG showrunners.

Too much licensed 80s music. It's like listening to Weezer Teal all over again.

Funny enough movie. My favorite part was when Luigi died (or not) (spoilers). Bowser is the best character, Donkey Kong is good too. Most other characters were fine. Most voice actors were good except Mario and Luigi were meh.

It definitely looked and felt like an Illumination movie for what it's worth. It looks a lot smoother this time around, but it's just not my favorite. Peach is Taylor Swift.

I had a good time. 5/10.