Tuesday, January 2, 2024

Top 10 Albums of 2021

    Sure, the list might be a bit late. But I'm glad I waited. Some of these I didn't recognize until recently. I certainly wanted to make sure I knew what I was talking about. It wasn't due to being lazy. 

Sunday, December 3, 2023

This Is The End Movie Review


Matt, Mario, and Zac wanted to watch This Is The End immediately after my Curious George (2006) watch party.

A review of This Is The End (2013) starring a bunch of Hollywood narcissists.

Last time on Icystorm's Igloo, I watched Oz The Great and Powerful. A 2013 James Franco movie that wasn't very good. This Is The End has all those traits but even more so.

It's more 2013 - the effects look even worse, there's a Gangnam Style scene, dudes are wearing snapbacks... What a nightmare.

It's more James Franco - He's a main character in this movie, playing James Franco. So there's more James Franco than ever before. Most of the movie takes place in his ugly 2013 house.

And it's even more wasn't very good - This Is The End is terrible and not funny. It's a bunch of raunchy garbage for 2 hours. All of the jokes except for a small handful are predictable and, considering the target audience, safe.

The rapture is not Christian doctrine; but since some Christians teach the rapture as doctrine, we can suspend disbelief for the sake of the movie. But getting into heaven by being good, without faith in God, is doctrine that no Christian believes. Such an understanding of salvation paints Christianity the same as all the other faiths, where you trick God into thinking you're good enough for him. If you see this movie as famous atheistic Hollywood elites raised in the Jewish tradition trying to write a movie about a faith they don't believe in, it makes a lot of sense. Jews believe that you are loved by God when you follow his law really well. Christianity teaches that you are loved by God, despite your inability to follow the law, and are saved through faith in Christ's saving work, and not your own works. Nobody in the movie believed in Jesus, and they only used his name in vain the entire time. Yet they got saved anyway because they sacrificed themselves or whatever. It's the most milquetoast pop culture understanding of the rapture you could put on paper.

Their interpretation of heaven is just as uninspired. You walk around on clouds and you can have whatever you want. 72 virgins anyone? You could hand a chimp a crucifix, a piece of paper, and a box of crayons, and ask him to draw heaven. His idea would not only be more interesting, but also likely more accurate. 

This movie is dated, ugly, unfunny, uncreative, and I hate celebrities with every fiber of my being. 1/10

Saturday, October 21, 2023

Oz the Great and Powerful Movie Review


James Franco as the Wiz

Ponyboy wanted to watch it and it was a few dollars. Why not. A review of Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) starring James Franco.

I think the theme of this movie is that religion is a lie but still a good thing. Which, is a pretty lukewarm take to have. It could also be that you can do anything if you try hard enough and meditate on it long enough, which is also a lukewarm take. Both of them are wrong.

The wicked witch of the west has pretty bizarre motivation. Even after finding out her sister is lying, she still sides with her instead of, like, killing her. I would just kill my sister if she turned me green forever.

The effects this movie were generally pretty ugly. Monkey guy looked terrible. China doll looked bad too. When the witch turned green, it looked like Son of the Mask. Very fake and worse than how The Wizard of Oz looked 75 years earlier. Not surprised nor impressed with Disney.
James Franco with a mustache just looks like Rusty Cage. I thought he was gonna build a big guillotine to execute the witch. That never happened though.

Can't believe this is real. 3/10

Monday, October 16, 2023

Darkman Movie Review

"If you want a dude who wear a mask all day...." MF DOOM by Amar Stewart

Since Evil Dead 2 was so fun, I was in the mood for another Raimi movie. So the Pony and I picked up Darkman.

A review of Darkman (1990) starring the guy from the Cherry Bomb cover (do NOT research!).

This movie was a lot like Spider-Man 2 in a lot of ways. Dude literally gets his lab destroyed, his life is ruined, but he rebuilds his lab to rebuild his life and get vengeance. Sound familiar? I think the biggest contribution to the similarity is Danny Elfman's score. This is the most prominent movie score I've ever heard, and it sounded so much like the Spider-Man movies. It was good.

But this movie still stands as a very different project from the Spider-Man movies. Peyton's character throughout the movie is shocking at times. It's refreshing to see an action movie where the hero is evil as well. He just happens to be less evil than the guys he's fighting. The very ending was shocking. The last ten seconds especially.... that was wild. I really wish I had a pink elephant.

6/10, I'm bringing this one to Canada.