Monday, December 2, 2024

Wicked Movie Review

Ally and Pailey wanted to see it. And I did too. A review of Wicked (2024) starring Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo.

Not the movie's fault, but. In my theater, I was distracted by a thin brown stain on the screen, bottom center. It looked like projectile vomit, and apparently I'm the only one of my friends who noticed it. I'm not even mad; whenever Ethan Slater was on screen, I too was resisting the urge to projectile vomit.

When the Wizard was reading the Didache Grimmerie, he just said, "Omaha, Omaha." I was hoping he would keep reading and say "Seward." But he never did.

I had a hard time looking through the actresses to see the characters. Cynthia Erivo was convincing, but Ariana Grande is just Ariana Grande. Jeff Goldblum is just Jeff Goldblum. Ethan Slater was a gross nasty man.

Wicked being a "Part One" movie, I think, just gives them good enough excuse to not wrap up plot details. The ending felt like a true ending. It's just when you remember the earlier parts in the movie that it feels incomplete. Ethan Slater's relationship with Nessa never resolves. Fiyero's feelings toward Elphaba and Glinda are hinted at, so the audience can guess where those relationships are going, but we never see it. We never return to Glinda in Munchkinland after the first 10 minutes, which the whole framing of the movie would require. I get that the movie is already long, but is there a reason it has to be this way? I never saw the play.

The songs are great, except "Popular." I was impressed by Cynthia's and especially Ari's vocals, which is crazy because I've been a fan of Ari since 2015.

4/10. The school may be Shiz, but the movie is definitely not.

Friday, November 29, 2024

Curious George Dead from Home Invasion, Shooting

Photo used with the permission of Joel Haver

NEW YORK, N.Y. (Keri News) - Actor-turned-politician Curious George has been shot and killed by two armed men who allegedly broke into George's New York City mansion on the morning of Sept. 26, 2024.

George had been sitting in his living room eating bananas when a bullet from an armed gunman entered his stomach through the side of his abdomen. George attempted to call 911, but was unable to speak due to being a monkey. First responders arrived at the home to find George unconscious in a puddle of blood. George was then flown to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, M.N., where he was declared dead at 1:28 P.M. Three other non-fatal bullet wounds were discovered on George's person by Mayo Clinic doctors. Coroners are unsure if the non-fatal wounds were sustained before or after George was fatally shot in the stomach.

Authorities on the scene are currently investigating the incident, looking for evidence of who might have shot George or why. New York Police Department Deputy Cade Pflughoeft told Keri News, "These intruders thought everything through. They left almost no trace of DNA, and avoided security cameras while they were on the property." NYPD has no leads at the time of publishing.

Those close to George believe the shooting was political in nature. "Well, a lot of people accused George of stealing votes from [President Donald] Trump in 2020, and they didn't want it to happen again," said Ted, George's primary caretaker; "It's just sad to see my country vote with bullets instead of ballots."

Curious George's campaign manager Clovis encourages George's supporters not to be afraid. "While we mourn the loss of our friend Curious George, his ideas live on through our community of supporters. At this juncture, we can only pray that this nation would heal from this awful tragedy." Clovis went on to encourage George's supporters not to despair. "Let us not be blackpilled. It's not what George would have wanted."

A funeral for Curious George will be held on Oct. 9, at 10:00 A.M. in the Graebner Memorial Chapel of George's alma mater, Concordia St. Paul in St. Paul, M.N.

Friday, November 22, 2024

When Harry Met Sally Movie Review

 

A review of When Harry Met Sally (1989) dir. Rob Reiner.

When I watch rom-com movies, I often see myself in the main character. See my review of High Fidelity (2000) dir. John Cusack for a prime example. But when my buddy Gabe showed me his favorite rom-com, I didn't see myself in Billy Crystal. However, I did see my ex-girlfriend very clearly behind the character of Sally. She's naive and fun, with a veil of professionalism over a frame that is anything but. Seeing her sad made me sad. What does this mean for my feelings toward Sally? The movie's theme focuses on the idea that men and women can never, in a vacuum, truly be just friends; with that in mind, I don't think relating the movie to my personal experience is a wise idea anymore.

The movie is pretty entertaining, but nothing blew me away. The scene where Harry explains his divorce to his friend at the stadium ruined the pacing and didn't impact the story much. Expo dump. Sad that Sally's ex got engaged. There's a dialogue section that reminds me of Kid Cudi's song "The Guide," which is a fantastic song. If you know the song and the movie, you'll know what I mean. Also a pretty gross scene in this one restaurant. This movie is not for kids.

6/10, I'm never stepping foot in Wisconsin again.


Friday, November 15, 2024

My Diagnosis

We should have seen the signs.

This post is sponsored by Bud Light.

Recently I've been seeing a psychiatrist about issues I've been struggling with for many years. It was scary to make that step, but it needed to happen. I've destroyed many relationships - platonic, romantic, professional - all because of problems I've been suffering from since high school. At the advice of my best friend Rylee, who has supported me since the early days, I decided to look into a professional diagnosis.