Curious George Dead from Home Invasion, Shooting

Photo used with the permission of Joel Haver

NEW YORK, N.Y. (Keri News) - Actor-turned-politician Curious George has been shot and killed by two armed men who allegedly broke into George's New York City mansion on the morning of Sept. 26, 2024.

George had been sitting in his living room eating bananas when a bullet from an armed gunman entered his stomach through the side of his abdomen. George attempted to call 911, but was unable to speak due to being a monkey. First responders arrived at the home to find George unconscious in a puddle of blood. George was then flown to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, M.N., where he was declared dead at 1:28 P.M. Three other non-fatal bullet wounds were discovered on George's person by Mayo Clinic doctors. Coroners are unsure if the non-fatal wounds were sustained before or after George was fatally shot in the stomach.

Authorities on the scene are currently investigating the incident, looking for evidence of who might have shot George or why. New York Police Department Deputy Cade Pflughoeft told Keri News, "These intruders thought everything through. They left almost no trace of DNA, and avoided security cameras while they were on the property." NYPD has no leads at the time of publishing.

Those close to George believe the shooting was political in nature. "Well, a lot of people accused George of stealing votes from [President Donald] Trump in 2020, and they didn't want it to happen again," said Ted, George's primary caretaker; "It's just sad to see my country vote with bullets instead of ballots."

Curious George's campaign manager Clovis encourages George's supporters not to be afraid. "While we mourn the loss of our friend Curious George, his ideas live on through our community of supporters. At this juncture, we can only pray that this nation would heal from this awful tragedy." Clovis went on to encourage George's supporters not to despair. "Let us not be blackpilled. It's not what George would have wanted."

A funeral for Curious George will be held on Oct. 9, at 10:00 A.M. in the Graebner Memorial Chapel of George's alma mater, Concordia St. Paul in St. Paul, M.N.