Icystorm 9 REVIEW

This article was written as the script for the next Icystorm 9 video.

I’m Icystorm 9. I’m 17, I live in the Japanese state of Nebraska, and I live without a mouth. I play video games and listen to pop music. And I’m a character. I’m scripted and voiced by an adult living in Nebraska, United States, NOT Japan, and my character is just a vague representation of my own person.

My channel began dedicated to complaining about Minecraft. I quickly ran out of things to complain about, so it became Icystorm9Reviews in 2015. But I didn’t know what types of videos I wanted to make. That was, until I got sick in 2017. I was struck with a terrible condition that left me bedridden for about a month. In that time, I watched a lot of YouTube channels that inspired me. The most important one is Project COE. I liked other long-form review channels, like LambHoot, SomeCallMeJohnny, Todd In The Shadows, and TheDoubleAgent, but they weren’t making the type of videos I thought were in short supply. I wasn’t hungry for more of this. But I found Project COE’s Saturnday reviews addicting. They were short and to the point. They gave a brief overview of the game of the week with gameplay to discuss their main points. And they were talking about something that wasn’t super common to talk about: relatively obscure 90s video games. It was a true review. Not in the sense that the episode would go over everything about the game early. But in the sense that you would know after a few minutes whether it was something you’d find worth your time and money, or if it wouldn’t. It was so easy to watch the whole playlist in just a few sittings, or at least wish I could. It brought me a lot of comfort in the days where I couldn’t really walk or stand or breathe. I wanted to make videos that gave that same feeling.

Ever since I started in 2019, the videos got more and more complex to edit. I learned a new editing trick in each video. Things moved around more. Now, going back to the Life of Pablo video, I find it crazy how little happens. Things sit still for more than 3 seconds, which is unthinkable in a modern Icystorm 9 video. But the problem is that this took a lot of time. I remember making the Glowing Man video in a few hours, after I got home from school, but before a 7pm Wednesday night lenten service. For comparison, the Hurley video took upwards of ten hours just to edit 100 seconds of footage. The Hurley video is no doubt better than the Glowing Man video, but I don’t think it was thrice as good. I was putting in a crazy amount of hours for little output.

I’ve written a fair bit on my website in the interim. I’ve reviewed a dozen or more movies, reviewed dozens more albums, and discussed more personal subjects that mean a lot to me. But writing is not my passion. Writing isn’t something I can sit and do for hours on end without taking a break. It’s the video making that propels me to do it. The reason ten hour video editing sessions are bad for me is because I like doing them. They’re really bad for my physical health. And my emotional health as well, according to my psychiatrist.

I’m looking for ways to make videos that don’t take so much time. I want to make the videos that require ten hours of editing, without taking ten hours to make them. I’m not sure how that will play out or look like yet. But soonr than soon, I will be uploading more good stuff.

Animal REVIEW

 When I was young, I had a hard time making out what Kesha’s Animal is supposed to be. What Platonic form this album supposed to fulfill, if you may. I’ve been listening to the first 2 Kesha albums since I was a little kid, and Warrior clicked with me instantly as I dove into it in my room one spring 2016 evening. But Animal was always different. Animal is harsh with loud bleeps and bloops everywhere that almost seem overwhelming when paired with her braggadocious persona. That’s why when I wrote this video originally in summer 2018, I wrote a 5,200 word hit piece against what this album has to offer. Instrumentation was described as, “just electronic beeping noises” with “annoying electronic noises all thrown together at once.” The lyrics are subject to my critique as well, so that I critique TiK ToK for… using poetic imagery? And I clearly dislike a highlight of Kiss N Tell’s identity. I even described the production on the record with this phrase: “This part has enough autotune to be too noticeable, but it doesn’t have enough autotune to be artistic or stylistic, or anything other than a distraction.” And I think today I see the album in a very different light. Albeit a bit dated, Animal is a well-constructed product that’s rife with a unique, appealing sense of character. When I first listened to this as a soundtrack to grade school homework, I went in with the mindset this album was as universal as Warrior was. It isn’t; and that's okay! Animal tends to work best as driving music, or party music. But that isn’t a problem with the art. Albums like Animal are aiming to be really clever with how it meets the needs of those specific scenarios. As it caters to a loud environment, this type of project lives and dies by its character. For this album to do well, it needs to stand out with all boldness and confidence. And I’m happy to report that Animal passes with flying colors. Kesha followed in the tradition of Britney Spears’ Blackout by reveling in modern synth sounds and effects. Instruments like electric guitars are present, but you have to dig if you want to find them. But Kesha never comes off as a mere modernist who uses synths because it’s popular to do in the landscape of the late 2000s. Her character basks in the artificiality of the world she builds for herself. That world is reflected in the sounds of the album. That’s why the guitars are much clearer on serious songs like Blind and Dancing With Tears In My Eyes. This album may be known for its fun party girl songs like Take it Off, Boots N Boys, and Backstabber, but it doesn’t maintain that illusion the whole time. Sometimes a glimmer of reality peaks through. Whether you’re listening to a party song or a sad song, Animal is incredibly attractive. Vocal performances are on point, and production sounds more lush and deep than you might initially anticipate. Take it Off is probably the best example. It builds such a fun, yet grimy atmosphere that’s just about impossible for anyone except Kesha herself to match. When I was a kid, I didn’t appreciate Animal, but now I see it in a new light. Animal is a creative and fun album that goes deeper than the party persona it puts on.

Lexie, Hit Me With Your Prius REVIEW

Lexie, Hit Me With Your Prius may seem at first glance to be another low-effort meme rap project from JBK$R. The more you dig into it, though, the more obvious it becomes that this album is complex and well planned. The biggest thing about this album is that it seems confusing. In the first minute of the project, JBK$R says he got Hannah a wedding ring, but he asks Cassidy to marry him. Then later he’s flirting with Madison on the song Madi S’nailer. And at the end of The Title Track, he seems pretty fond of Lexie herself. Even if this weren’t contradictory, the audience doesn’t have much of a context for who these people are or why we should care. Get Got has a lot of lines that don’t really relate to a concept or a joke in any way, and most other songs have the same out of place unexplainability to a lesser extent. I have no clue what 30 days and 7 hours means, or what the significance is of a plastic parrot. I couldn’t tell you what he paid Hannah for, Edmonton can’t be in Fillmore County since Alberta doesn’t have counties, I’m not sure what hardwiring a Buick looks like, and the song about Club Penguin seems incredibly out of place. But I think that’s part of the appeal behind Lexie, Hit Me With Your Prius. No two songs are alike in any way. The short nature of each song makes the album very refreshing. When a 15-track album barely crosses 20 minutes, nothing can really overstay its welcome. The chaotic nature of Lexie Hit Me seems all the more intentional when you dive into it, especially with how off the wall some of these lyric choices are. The audience may not know what’s happening, and I don’t think JBK$R does either. That’s why he loves so many different people, that’s why characters pop in and out, that’s why the setting is inconsistent. It’s all very hard to put together, but at it's core, it’s all about him. What it’s saying about him, we aren’t supposed to know. This album is a mystery. And it’s perfect that way.

Hurley REVIEW

Hurley…. Is…. Really good actually! And really unique! Weezer put in the hours to make this album stand out despite its short production window, and it paid off. Hurley is loud and fuzzy and proud of it. The guitars are weighty and the synths are huge. The lyrics are audacious and Rivers’ newly adopted singing style reflects that perfectly. He’s practically screaming on some of these cuts, and he’s surprisingly able to pull it off convincingly. Rivers sounds like a dude trying to impersonate a nerd, rather than the nerd he is. And the one time he ditches this style for a more somber tone, on the track Unspoken, it ends up being the best song on the album by far. All in all, Hurley is incredibly catchy. Ruling Me, Trainwrecks, Brave New World, and Hang On are all so memorable you’ll catch yourself humming them for the rest of the week. Even the least of these tracks makes a huge impact. Like, even if you can’t stand the drum machine on Smart Girls, its catchiness brings you in. And there really is no excuse for how trashy Time Flies sounds technically, but the melody in itself is so nice it almost comes off as a feature instead of a bug. The deluxe edition CD has some nice bonus tracks too. All My Friends are Insects is a fun little ditty, as is Represent. And how could I go on without mentioning the acoustic cut I Want to Be Something, which acts as a nice breather compared to the intensity of the rest of the record? Hurley Deluxe feels like a real deluxe- it has nice bonuses for those who want it. But if you go for the standard CD instead, you still get a complete and worthwhile experience. Even at their worst, Weezer knows how to make fun, catchy, and memorable tracks. At their best, you get gems like Hurley.

Credits-

The opening clip is sourced from the video "Fred and Weezer Go To The Moon" by FRED.

The audio of Rivers saying "You're a poopyhead" is sourced from the video "AVGN responds to the Nostalgia Critic!" by Cinemassacre.

The audio of Rivers screaming is the song "Big Enough" from the Kirin J. Callinan album Bravado (2017).

All videos not mentioned above and left without watermarks are from the official Weezer YouTube channel, from official Weezer media such as live DVDs, DVDs included with albums, or recorded by Icystorm 9.

All other sound effects are stock and are used with permission under a creative commons license (I hope).

Wii U > Switch

The Wii U is a highly underrated machine, as I've stated many times in the past. The Nintendo Switch is also a great machine. I have both and I love both very much. However, I think I like the Wii U more. There are a few reasons for this, and I'll go over that here.

The Controller

The Wii U and the Nintendo Switch have comparable control schemes in 3 ways- with a big screen in front of you via the GamePad or Switch handheld mode, with a regular controller via the Wii U Pro Controller or Switch Pro Controller, and with 2 controllers via Wii Remote & Nunchuk or the Joycons. Each control scheme has its fans, but I think the Wii U has better control schemes than the Switch.

If you want a big old screen in front of you, Wii U is absolutely the way to go. The GamePad is soft in the hands and bulky enough for you to get a good grip. It doesn't feel heavy, but you can tell it has a lot of features. One thing the Wii U Gamepad does right that the Switch handheld does wrong is, the charging port is on the top of the GamePad. I understand why the Switch has the port on the bottom. However, playing while charging is much easier with the GamePad. The GamePad has a stylus as well. The Switch has a capacitive screen as opposed to a resistive screen, but I don't really mind the Wii U screen. It works really well and it seems more durable.

If you want to use a regular controller, this is where it becomes a close call. The Wii U Pro Controller and the Switch Pro Controller are both very good controllers. However, I like the Wii U controller just a bit more. The Wii U Pro Controller is what the Xbox 360 controller should have been- it has a great form factor and it fits into my hands great. The soft, yet responsive buttons are very comfortable, and the triggers feel very comfortable to hold down whereas the 360 triggers get to be painful. The Switch Pro Controller is closer in feel to the Xbox One controller. While the Xbox One controller is much better than the Xbox 360 controller, so is the Wii U Pro Controller. The controller itself is very comfortable, but it's not without its flaws. The triggers are slightly stiffer, but it's barely noticeable. The D pad on the Switch Pro Controller is not as good as it is on the Wii U Pro Controller. Pressing the center buttons on the Wii U Pro Controller is easy because of the position of the thumbsticks. However on the Switch Pro Controller, pressing the Home button becomes more difficult because the right stick is in the way. Overall both are great controllers, but the Wii U Pro Controller feels better to use.

If you're using separate controllers, it's no contest. My Joy Cons have stick drift. Need I say more? The Wii Remote and Nunchuk have the disadvantage of being tethered together by a cable, and the Joy Cons provide much more freedom with their separation. However, there are disadvantages that come along with this. Like I said earlier, the Joy Cons get stick drift eventually. The motion controls aren't as accurate, because Joy Cons use gyroscopes instead of infrared pointers. So while the sensor bar is cut out of the equation, it doesn't work as well. It's not terrible, but in a lot of games the Wii Remote Plus is better.

Online

I  don't play too many online games, but I play a few. I've put a lot of online hours into 2 games- Splatoon on Wii U, and Mario Kart 8 on Switch. I think it's fair to assume that I've put a near equal amount of time into the online gameplay of both of these games. Back in my Mario Kart 8 online days, network errors were common. At least once an hour, I would get booted out of the lobby and I'd have to rejoin. Sometimes it didn't let me join again for some time. In Splatoon on Wii U, this is rarely a problem. I have been disconnected maybe 2 or 3 times in my time playing the game. I've never been disconnected from an online game in Super Smash Bros, and Super Mario Maker has never given me trouble. So what happened to Switch Online that made it so much more faulty? I can't tell for sure what the problem is. I know that there's a problem though. You guys should play Splatoon.

Friends

The Switch friend system can maybe be considered robust, but it dropped the ball in 2 very important areas. The Wii U does one of these correctly, and the other one is okay even though it also didn't do a great job.

Nintendo Switch, just like the 3DS, uses friend codes to add buddies to your buddy list. Why? Everyone knows how bogus this is. Why can't everyone just have a username, like every other platform that exists? Why do we need these pointless codes? Remembering "Storm9CP" is much easier than remembering whatever my friend code is.

Nintendo Switch Online voice chat is a mess. To chat online in many first party games, you must have their dedicated cell phone app. The Wii U doesn't need this app! Voice Chat on Wii U and Switch could stand to be improved. The Wii U needs an overhaul in this regard too, I'll admit. Voice chat should be based on the Wii U system, not the game. This is the system that Xbox Live uses. That way everyone can play different games and still be in the party. They could be doing whatever they want on the unit while this happens. As it is, voice chat is based on the game, so all people must be playing the same game. The Switch also needs a voice chat overhaul. They can make it part of their online service, but voice chat should be part of the system. A cell phone app shouldn't be required to run voice chat. My cell phone cannot install any apps, so I can't even use this service that would otherwise be available. Another thing that Switch needs to work on is Bluetooth headset support for docked mode. Sitting really close to the TV is not comfortable, and Bluetooth adapters aren't something I've ever seen at my local big box store. This solution would solve the problem that the smartphone app solves, but in a more graceful and convenient way. 

Nintendo eShop

The Nintendo eShop has been a great place to find some of the lesser known games for the Wii U and Nintendo Switch. However, one of these stands above the others. 

The Wii U eShop is clean, neat, and well-organized. Everything is categorized and easy to find. The homepage is well designed too. The music is dope too. The homepage does a great job of showcasing the wide variety of stuff available on Wii U. Navigation is easy, and discovery is easy.

The Nintendo Switch eShop needs a revamp. Everything is very loosely categorized, and discovery is difficult. It looks very bland and uninteresting. Discovery is very difficult as well. There's just too much stuff on the Switch eShop, and finding games of quality is very hard in the eShop's current state. Things need to be categorized better so it's easier to sort out exactly what you want.

Other online features

Some of this is Nintendo's fault, and some of it isn't. Either way, the Wii U has better online features than the Nintendo Switch. The Wii U has a web browser available from the home screen. It works pretty decently too, even though it may be a bit outdated. Switch just doesn't have a web browser, or at least not one that's reasonably easy to access.

Nintendo Switch has a strange lack of media streaming software available for it. Switch has Crunchyroll, Hulu, and YouTube. This is nothing compared to Wii U. While it no longer has access to Hulu (stupid Disney), Wii U still has access to Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Crunchyroll, Youtube, and even Napster. That's a better selection than Switch, I'd argue.

I think now would be a good time to mention Miiverse and all the other online features that have been discontinued. There's no need to go in depth here because they are not around anymore, but Miiverse was awesome while it was still around. We also have Wii U Chat (a Skype-like calling platform), and Nintendo TVii (a live TV service).

Virtual Console

I'm not going to say the Wii U has the best Virtual Console out of all Virtual Consoles. That honor would go to the Wii. I can say Wii U Virtual Console is better than Virtual Console on Nintendo Switch, though.

For some, the Switch Virtual Console is quite a good deal. Pay 20 dollars a year for a few NES and SNES games. This includes save states and online play for multiplayer. I don't like this deal though. As users have pointed out, online multiplayer for these games doesn't work well. Why is it limited to NES and SNES games? Wii U had Virtual Console games for NES, SNES, Nintendo 64, Wii, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS, and TurboGrafx-16. No Master System, Genesis, or GameCube for some reason, but I think we had an alright selection as is on Wii U. Switch's Virtual Console library is severely lacking. Was anyone asking for Smash Tennis or Eliminator Boat Duel? Is there anyone excited to try out Eliminator Boat Duel? Wii U had save states as well, so save states are nothing special. The part I dislike most about Switch Virtual Console is that it's subscription-based. It may not be a lot of money for a subscription, but I'd rather just pay 10 bucks for Mario 64 and be done with it just like on Wii or Wii U. I hate having to pay for the same thing multiple times when I could just buy it once forever. The fact that these are only available through Switch Online is disgusting and ridiculous.

The User Interface

To some people, what the User Interface is like isn't important. As long as the games are good, then the games are good. But I like me a good UI. UI happens to be one of the biggest problems with the Xbox 360- the home page is filled with ads and garbage that could easily be removed. The Wii U has a great user interface, as I've discussed previously on this site. The Switch does not have a good user interface.

The Wii U's interface looks great. Once the home menu shows up and you're signed in, everything is neat and detailed. 20 boxes line the screen for each application. 3D models of the controller buttons float in the background. On the TV the Miiverse plaza is displayed. Everything is at a high resolution and it looks fantastic. When pressing the home button during a game, the same thing can be said- everything looks great. Everything you need during the game is organized along the bottom of the screen. The digital manual is readily available. Controller settings are easy to access.

The Nintendo Switch user interface looks awful. I don't understand our modern culture's shift towards minimalism. This has ruined many great things- the Patreon logo, the Google logo, the Cartoon Network logo.... a lot of logos. It's all so terribly boring. The Nintendo Switch is the epitome of bland. Everything is so squared off. Nothing has any gradients or borders; everything is a flat color. The Home menu, friends list, eShop, and settings all need a revamp, or at least some new themes. I understand that the menu was designed to work quickly, but couldn't it work quickly and look nice at the same time? All that can be said before bringing up how clunky it is. Only 12 games appear on the menu at a time, and you can only see 4 of them on screen before scrolling. Why can't I be shown 12 or 16 at a time? The 3DS could do it, so why can't the Switch?

Conclusion

I'm not going to argue that the games on either system are better or worse. That's not my call to make, because I'm not super well versed in Switch games since 2018. Based on just the consoles themselves, I stand by my opinion that the Wii U is much more fun and interesting than the Nintendo Switch. If you wanna fight, reach out to @Icystorm9 on Twitter. Goodnight.