Spider-Man Brand New Day Movie Review

 Matt wanted to see it, and I like Spider-Man movies sometimes. A review of Spider-Man: Brand New Day (2026) dir. Destin Daniel Cretton.

Do you see the Spider-Man colors in Fantano's outfit?

I haven't seen the last movie in ages, so maybe this is on me, but I felt lost regarding some of the plot beats here. Who is the lady in the hot tub, and who is Frank? Who are The Hand? I don't remember them from No Way Home. I wonder if it's because I haven't seen any of the MCU movies since No Way Home that I'm missing a ton of context? It probably is, and I think that's really dumb. Imagine if you were watching Star Wars and Indiana Jones came in and started talking about the crystal skull. What is he talking about, and what does it have to do with anything? They only do it to guilt trip me into watching the other movies, but I'm not gonna watch 40 other movies to understand some half-baked characters I don't care about.

I think the hot tub lady contributed very little and could have been cut entirely and very little retooling would be needed. I don't give a narp about her. Frank is so annoying, I got frustrated every time he was on screen. He is so one-dimensional. The movie keeps telling me that he's deep and traumatized by his dead family, but I could not be bothered to care when he's such a meathead and a dunce. Not that I should care, cuz it never matters or is explained. He's the real villain. I don't like his New York accent, or his jokes, or his love of guns. I don't like him at all. Frank is the real villain of the movie.

This movie is very blue. 

Peter's personal struggles and his struggles as Spider-Man tie together in an interesting way with the organic webs, but having them already exist in the previous movie really killed a lot of the excitement. And calling attention to it from the previous movie makes it worse. Ruins a lot of the mystery. That's why I don't like multiverse stories. Besides the fact that they are overdone, they cripple a lot of worldbuilding possibilities. Nothing about this world is permanent or consistent anymore, so nothing matters quite so much as it once did. As much as I enjoyed No Way Home, it is not something I have seen after its premiere because its world just doesn't interest me enough to watch again. 

 I like some things about this movie. I really like the house party scene, how the Tame Impala song fades in and out. It's the soundtrack, but it's also what's playing in the scene. I used the same trick to soundtrack Bernstein (2022) dir. AMG. The soundtrack song played when Bernstein is in Casey's is "Successful" by Ariana Grande, but I edited it to show that the same song is what plays in the store. It sounds like convenience store music, but the lyrics also match how Bernstein feels, having captured his victim. The same trick is used in the butter factory scene with "Little Black Angel" by Death in June. I initially thought using the Tame Impala song for a house party would be a little strange, but as the scene went on, it fit more.

I tolerated a lot of the needle drops for this movie. It can't get any worse than the songs they threw in Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014). I don't know how well they will age, but for now, they are fine. I didn't like that Philip Philips song in TASM2 the day it came out, so at least Brand New Day's needle drops pass the immediate sniff test. Also better than Super Mario Bros Movie. 

I always forget there's an X-Men character named Jean Grey, since I don't read or watch X-Men. I only thought of Jean Grae, the rapper. There are a lot of rappers named after Marvel characters, and Jean Grae is another one to add to the list. 

I think Jean Grey's character arc and Peter Parker's character arc line up in an interesting way, but I didn't understand how the two fit together until the end. Maybe I'm just dumb, and I should have seen it from the second she appeared. I think the main message they conclude with is really cute and I like it. The third act twist did not surprise me at all, but I thought it was well done. The Z max reveal, or whatever it was, was a good twist.

Peter's arc with MJ really hit me because I know how hard it is to love somebody I cannot be with. It's a universal experience, so I think a lot of people will relate to that part. Wanting to connect with somebody again after a long time, but being unable to for external reasons, really sucks and it is painful. Peter Parker has more self-control than I do. But the girl I like with is prettier than Zendaya, so it evens out.

Was really hoping Peter would grow extra arms like he did in the cartoon. 4/10

Darkman Movie Review

"If you want a dude who wear a mask all day...." MF DOOM by Amar Stewart

Since Evil Dead 2 was so fun, I was in the mood for another Raimi movie. So the Pony and I picked up Darkman.

A review of Darkman (1990) starring the guy from the Cherry Bomb cover (do NOT research!).

This movie was a lot like Spider-Man 2 in a lot of ways. Dude literally gets his lab destroyed, his life is ruined, but he rebuilds his lab to rebuild his life and get vengeance. Sound familiar? I think the biggest contribution to the similarity is Danny Elfman's score. This is the most prominent movie score I've ever heard, and it sounded so much like the Spider-Man movies. It was good.

But this movie still stands as a very different project from the Spider-Man movies. Peyton's character throughout the movie is shocking at times. It's refreshing to see an action movie where the hero is evil as well. He just happens to be less evil than the guys he's fighting. The very ending was shocking. The last ten seconds especially.... that was wild. I really wish I had a pink elephant.

6/10, I'm bringing this one to Canada.

E3 Wishes and Predictions 2018 - Sony

I'll be honest, I almost fell asleep watching Sony's E3 show last year. It had some cool games, but it really didn't have anything to pull me in or even keep my attention for great periods of time. There didn't seem to be a big variety of different genres. Everything was an open-world game with realistic graphics and good cinematics. Hopefully it's different this year.

Last year, Microsoft surprised people at E3. It wasn't with Minecraft, and it wasn't with the car, and I don't mean with OG Xbox compatibility. I'm talking about Super Lucky's Tale. Microsoft has made more mature games for years now. The last kid-friendly game Microsoft not counting Kinect or karaoke games is possibly Viva Pinata Trouble In Paradise back in 2008. And now they had a 3D platformer coming out. Sony should have a new 3D platformer coming out. They've made mostly mature games over at Sony for a while now as well. We have God of War and Detroit and Uncharted, but we haven't gotten a really good kid-friendly game for a while. When did the last Ratchet and Clank come out?

Sony needs to give a 2 hour presentation of that new Tetris game by the Rez guys. I love Tetris.

Extra Rez content was released for the Dreamcast in 2007 to promote the 360 port coming later that year. Crazy.

— Josh (@Icystorm9) June 4, 2018

Sony needs to announce new Vita games. That is the law. They broke the law last year. The Vita is awesome. At least acknowledge that the Vita exists.

A gorgeous blue PS Vita

I think Sony could easily make PS1 discs work on the PS4. The PS3 can do it. The PS2 can do it. The Dreamcast can do it with a boot disc. I think you can mod your Wii to do it. Why they haven't at this point is beyond me, other than the fact that Sony wants you to rebuy all their PS1 games digitally. Joke's on you, Shawn. I might have bought your console if you would let me run my PS1 and PS2 games.

I'll get to the point now. Sony, make PS1 games and PS2 games compatible with PS4. Or, at the very least, the PS4 Pro.

Finally, the PS4 and Vita need a Twisted Metal game. Twisted Metal only had 2 games last-gen, one of which was on the PSP. There hasn't been a Twisted Metal game this generation. I would love to play a Twisted Metal game for the Vita.

I expect Sony to have a trailer of some sort for their limited Days of Play console and then a bunch of trailers for new games that aren't out for a long time. They'll probably have some PS VR games to show off. I expect more of Spiderman, since the release is coming closer and they've shown it at E3 for a while now. I don't expect Sony to even mention the Vita, since they've effectively disowned the thing; it's a shame. Naughty Dog will have at least one game to show off. Capcom will have a game to show off. Hideo Kojima might show off his weird new game, but I can't say for sure.

Nintendo has a 45 minute show this year. Oh boy.

E3 Wishes and Expectations - Sony

Oy, welcome to my blog. So this is part of my series on the Electronic Entertainment Expo. This is what I really want from Sony and what I expect from Sony.

So what I want from Sony is to announce a bunch of really good exclusives like Gran Turismo, Uncharted, Ratchet and Clank maybe, as well as discuss Crash Bandicoot Remastered and their exclusive Spiderman game coming out. A new God of War would be cool, a new Twisted Metal game would be cool, and showing off Parappa the Rapper game would make me a bit excited, even though it's not really my thing. 

If Sony could tell us more about Shenmue 3, that would be great, but if that's anywhere, it's in the Sega + Atlus show. But it is a PS4 exclusive, so who knows.

On the Vita side, there are tons of things they could show. If they could encourage Activision to remake just Crash 1 for the Vita, that would be an amazing thing to show off to promote their handheld. A Gran Turismo game would also be cool. I like Gran Turismo. And if they could add more PS1 games to the PSN Store, that would be great; I just don't know how many of PS1 games they could add without running dry or running into licensing issues.

The Vita is amazing, and it's region free, so you should import one of these blue beauties from Japan.

But what do I expect from PlayStation?

I think they'll spend just a bit of time talking about that super cheap gold PS4, which is an amazing $249.99 USD.

And then I think they'll talk about Crash Bandicoot N-Sane, although that might be on Activision's stage. But since the original Crash trilogy is pretty much the mascot of the PS1, I think it'll be on the PlayStation stage.

I expect them to not talk too much about the Vita, if they talk about it at all. Sony doesn't care about the Vita, which sucks, because it's a really amazing platform with tons of potential. Oh well.

Seriously, buy a Vita.